New Interest...

Good Evening!

Just a quick note - I think I may have found my spiritual home.. I have found over time as I do believe in God and that their is a higher power than us, I find myself very tied to the earth and the heavens.  Take tonight for example, as it is now dark when I leave work (thanks a lot time change!), I looked up to the Western sky to see the moon making its descent only to "pass" a planet.  As I look up at the sky to these giant rocks, I feel calm.  As is whenever I'm near water, it's very soothing.

My name has a watery meaning - depending on the source here are some of the meanings:
    from/of the lake
    calm waters
    waterfall
    lake
    pretty
   
well, you get the idea.

Also being the fish sign of the Zodiac - Pisces - well, I have a thing for water and the outdoors.

I've longed for years to have a spiritual home.  I've been to church, don't get me wrong.  I enjoy the people, the signing, I do have issue with some things, which is what has kept me from really accepting any one religion.

I've been to Unitarian Church (closest to my thoughts), Presbyterian, Methodist, Baptist, Southern Baptist.  I would like to go to a Catholic church once to honor my Grandparents,  Preferably the midnight Mass on Christmas Eve.

The new home I feel close to lending myself to is old and ancient, long before Christianity came into being, before the Kings.  There were, excuse me - are, Gods and Goddesses that have been believed in over the centuries, there is a belief in the earth, the heavens and more.  I need that more.  In my searching, the old Celtic practices and Pagan thoughts feel good to me.  It honors the planet, it honors yourself.  I think I remember hearing something about "not idolizing" things, I know this may start something, but I'm gonna put it out there - if that is the case and you take it very literal - do you not Idolize Jesus - to an extent? People have crosses with the nailed body the man that died for our sins. Sounds a little like idolizing something.

I choose to put above me the idols, if you will, of the Gods and Goddesses of this earth and beyond.  God still exists to me, probably not the same as it does to you.  I know what I feel and I feel this is the path for me.  Many people will I'm sure call me mean things as I accept this practice and learn more and allow it breathe within me.  What could be better than being that close to nature, to feel it live and to trust what it does? Water keeps us alive as do plants and animals... we honor God, why can we not honor other Gods or Goddesses for taking care of us, giving us life, even for the challenges we face to make us stronger.

Many of you will say mean things...I urge you, before you say something condemning me, do your research on how you should treat other people.  Just because my thoughts are not the same as yours does not make me any less of a person or one more lost than yourself.  once this comes to be, I hope my true friends will be supportive in this new process and not judge me.  I will not do anything to try to make them believe just as they don't force their views on me as "the only way".  I fear I may loose old friends, however I must do what is in my heart and follow the path that is before me.

We are human, we can think for ourselves.  We can make our own choices.  It is okay that my path is different than yours, but we may also walk side-by-side and be closer than even we realize.

I will see about keeping things posted about what I learn and my feelings as i go forward.  This will be a wondrous journey that I feel I about ready to embark on.  I just look for your support, not the reasons why I shouldn't.  (okay - so not quite so short - I had to make my point thought,)

Blessed Be!

Just a rant....

http://www.okcfox.com/story/23896596/oklahoma-state-board-of-education-releases-a-f-grades

well...this should get some interesting responses...  Is it the schools, the parents, the state - they claim it's not the kids or the teachers in the article...hmmm...  Keep in mind, they suddenly changed a scoring process on the standard tests the kids take....showing worse things than what is actually there.  Not sure if that affected this... Most schools in our area seem to have "A's & B's" for all grades. One school shows D & F. really?  Something to me is not right.  I know, I know - I do not have kids... so what.  Something isn't right.  After some things I heard a couple of months ago...I'm not trusting of the school board... not really sure if the state has the best interest of our kiddos in mind. Such a sad thing.

Here's the one that get's me:
from the article - "State Superintendent Janet Barresi said the grade changes were expected because of increasing academic rigor and changes made to the grade calculation.

"Our students do not know less than they did, and teachers are not doing a poor job. Far from it," Barresi said. "Classroom teachers are working hard, responding to more rigorous standards that will help children be prepared for successful and happy lives. As I had noted in August at a state Capitol news conference, this is a transformative time for Oklahoma education. The move to higher standards and expectations will be challenging, but the rewards will be generations of young people ready for college, career and citizenship." "

ok..well, those grade calculations for that "academic rigor" - the education hasn't changed, they do what they can.  AFTER the tests were taken, adjustments were made now that puts OK at the top of a list we should not be at the top of.  They make our kids appear worse off than they are.  I know they have the tests to "see" where the students/schools are - but jeez... give the kids some credit.  Many kids that would of had a seemingly satisfactory grade on these test now were in the below average/poor category.  We were kids once, we've all taken these tests... it's turning so much more political now and don't get it.  At times I'm glad I don't have kids so I don't have to deal with this - at the same time, I'm out of touch a bit since I don't.  So I do not want to hear that "you don't have kids, you don't know", No kidding!  I said that above...this is my opinion - just deal with it.  I hope some parents out there can do something to help get the state back on board with actually teaching the kids - do the standard tests to see where the kids are, to see where improvements are and make sure the tests are true tests and not the BS that has been done in recent years.

It is time to stop teaching the kids for the tests - this is missing the point of getting an education!!  Teach the kids what needs to be taught - not because it is something that someone thinks they need to memorize.

Anyway - Thanks for letting me rant...  Don't pick on me, this is my opinion and thoughts - replies are welcome, just be courteous and don't bash me or use ugly language.  Like I said - this should get some interesting responses.

oh, by the way - I found this on Facebook tonight and here is the first reponse to the FB post -  Finally !! Now take steps to improve the failing schools.   I hope that this is a parent of a student that is failing at a "failing" school.

c ya'll later...

Been a while...

I have neglected things the past couple of years, did not realize it had been so long since I was on here!  My business has grown, not as much as I would like, but it is slowing getting better.  I still have issues of getting in my own way to help grow my business.  I do good for a while, then ~~splat~~.

One good thing, last year the credit cards were paid off...YAY!!  such a huge thing.  No more of that debt. We just have to repay 1 loan we have out and the regular bills.  We will be having a payment probably soon, we need a new boat and eventually a new truck for the hubby.  Also need to get the Tahoe fixed...hopefully by January we can do that. **fingers crossed**

The bad thing for the year...I lost my dad.  He was diagnosed with cancer in August and he passed in October.  Only 72 days...so little time to even start to comprehend what was happening.  The last few days were awful for him, he went in the hospital on Sunday, I went up to see him.  By monday night, the doctor told mom that he wouldn't make it.  The cancer has grown and doubled/tripled in size and spread.  Nothing was working...At first she said 4 months to live, then kept back tracking.  He was approved to put in hospice, and Thursday morning he was gone.

I think they knew more than they told us for a longer period of time than just that day.  I would have taken time off of work to be with dad if we had known it was about to end.  I feel cheated of that precious time.   They were just about to celebrate 41 years of marriage.  I don't think the full scope of everything has hit, even though I saw his body after.  He was cremated, per his request and his remains are about 40 min from my house, so if I feel the need, it's not too far to go talk to him.

God has a plan for us all, it was not my place to question why dad is gone so quickly, but it doesn't stop me from thinking it was too soon.  I told God, "I don't know why you took my dad, and took him the way you did, but I understand you have a plan for each and every one of us, even if we don't agree.  Please make sure my dad is comfortable and happy and let mom feel his love in their home and when she misses him, let him be near.  I love my Dad very much and will miss him.  If he cannot be in our home, I'm glad it is yours that he is in."

Anyway - been hard focusing at work lately.  I need to get up to about $1500/mo income with Ameriplan and then I don't have to work and can spend whatever time with mom or wherever.  Mom retires in Jan 2014, I need to be making that money by then.

ok...time to go find something funny to cheer me back up....  At the risk of sounding cliche, Life is short - live it up.  Always keep a positive attitude, even on a bad day, stay positive.  You will be surprised at the way the worlds works when you are positive, even when "bad" things happen.

love you dad...thank you for being you and loving me.  thank you for being a mentor and friend to my hubby, he appreciated it more than you will know.  it means so much to me knowing that you were such a positive influence on his life.

http://www.corbettfuneral.com/obituaries/Donald-Tracey/

May you have blessed day, tell you family and best friends that you love them every chance you get.